1ARGNowadays,2MIS foreign language plays 3ARTa increasingly important role in our society. It provides a solid link for people from different countries and 4PLUbackground. This link allows us to communicate and learn from each other without5MIS barrier. I then suggest that everyone should take a foreign language class at primary or secondary 6MISschool despite 7POSstudent's learning potential 8CUTmay 9VTEvary from one10PRE to 11IROanother.

12PRGOf course, not 13POWevery students show great interest or 14SPLtanlent in learning a foreign language. 15CAPwe often 16VTEfound that it is the case for almost every17PLU subjects taught at schools18PUN, 19CONbut 20WORcan we afford21PRE for 22MISsome23PLU student to give up foreign24SPL langage25MIS if26POW he or she is not talented, can we apply the same principle to other 27SPLsubjucts such as science and 28SPLmathmatics, 29TYPobivously we can not.30TRA In fact, the fast growing economy 31VTEhave enable more international trade32MIS ever in 33ARTthe history,34CON to 35PROpocess a foreign 36TYPlangiage skill is becoming essential for people in37ART business world. The educational system is therefore gradually affected by this trend and almost every school and university offers language classes.38TRA Furthermore, the reality 39VTEhave prevented the idea of giving exception 40PREfor those who are not talented in41SPL laguage learning. 42PRGTake China for instance, under the current educational evaluation structure, every student enrolled in secondary school will be asked to sit 43PREin 44ARTthe English exam at end of each term. This is 45PLUthe results of high education requirements, in which English is mandatory at university entry exam.

46TRAMoreover, there is no doubt that 47PLUschool should48VTE requires every student to take up at least one foreign language, 49SPLbecasue 50TRAnot only 51WORwe can acquire knowledge52PUN 53TRAbut also learn to think in a different way by appreciating 54WFOculture differences. 55POWother reason56MIS may justify my earlier proposal is that although not all 57PLUstudent can turn out as expert 58PLUuser of a foreign language, it is 59TYPbenifical in 60WFOterm of expanding their 61POWversions and exploring interests.

62CNC In conclusion, learning a foreign language is vital for our prospective future63PUN, 64CAPeveryone in 65ARTthe 66PLUschool should be required to study a second language. We cannot afford 67CUTthat 68ARTmajority of 69PLUstudent who are not 70SPLrecognised as talented to lose the opportunity71PRE to a fantastic learning experience.


James James




Task achievement
• generally addresses the task; the format may be inappropriate in places
• (A) recounts detail mechanically with no clear overview; there may be no data to support the description
• (GT) may present a purpose for the letter that is unclear at times; the tone may be variable and sometimes inappropriate
• presents, but inadequately covers, key features/ bullet points; there may be a tendency to focus on details

Coherence and cohesion
• presents information with some organisation but there may be a lack of overall progression
• makes inadequate, inaccurate or overuse of cohesive devices
• may be repetitive because of lack of referencing and substitution

Lexical resource
• uses a limited range of vocabulary, but this is minimally adequate for the task
• may make noticeable errors in spelling and/or word formation that may cause some difficulty for the reader

Grammatical range and accuracy
• uses only a limited range of structures
• attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences
• may make frequent grammatical errors and punctuation may be faulty; errors can cause some difficulty for the reader


Hello, welcome to SmartPigai.

You have made a good response to the topic. Your introduction is well established. It clearly defines the thesis and relates well with what is expected in the main body. The thesis statement has been well developed.

The main body and conclusion have been well developed. The views have been supported by good examples. However, you need to review the presentation of your views in the main body paragraphs. It is important that you put the view to be discussed in the first sentence of the paragraph. For example, the main idea in the second paragraph is that a foreign language helps relate with other nationals at an era when international trade is at its peak. However, the idea is somewhere far in the middle of the paragraph yet it should have been in the first sentence. This helps avoid being wordy. What you put first should have come as an explanation and back up of the main idea.

There is need of addressing the grammar errors. These have affected some parts of the essay. These, mostly one word errors, can be rectified with careful proofreading.
--- Review your use of articles. Any word that starts with a vowel sound should take on "an" not "a". For example, "an" is required before "increasingly" in the introduction not "a". In the second paragraph, "the" should not be used before "English exam". This is because it makes the "exam" specific or known. It is a general idea and thus "an" is required.

--- Be mindful of the tenses and use of prepositions. Refer to the comments for more advice.

You can write a better essay if you address these grammar errors.

Try to use more diversified sentence structures and a wide range of vocabulary too.

Hope to see you again at SmartPigai=)





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